This acting stuff was too fucking weird, sometimes. I was walking back to my trailer feeling stupid because I had just had a three hour conversation with a green screen! I was supposed to have been talking to a giant wolf that would be computer generated into the shot later. Three hours to shoot a 30 second clip! Jesus! Sometimes acting could make you feel like a blithering idiot! The shoot would be over soon though, in two months, maybe a little more. Then I could have some free time, although very little, as I would have to start the WFE promo tour a couple weeks after we finished up here.
I was glad I had a 2 hour break coming up for lunch. That would give me a little blogging time. I wanted to see if the news had hit MEoW yet, about the red shirt and collar tug, and I was mentally rubbing my hands together in anticipation of seeing all of EDGe’s videos.
Luckily for me, practically everyone in the cast but me was in the next shot and every crew member was busy bustling around helping the cast or setting up equipment. I had a clean getaway to my trailer. I popped some hot pockets into the microwave, opened a bottle of Coca-Cola® and smoked a cig while I waited for my lunch to beep and let me know it was done cooking. As soon as I had everything I needed for lunch, I sat down in front of my computer and logged on to EdAttack. I clicked on the video page and was stunned to see that there were 42 videos listed there. Not all of them were made by EDGe though, but apparently they were all favorited by her. I was kind of relieved to realize she was as obsessed with me as I was with her. Yes, somewhere along the way, I had admitted and, just as quickly, accepted the fact that I was obsessed with this woman. I knew her only as EDGe or Edward’sDream-gurl. I had never seen her face. I did not know her name, but she was my obsession. So, who was crazier, me or her? Me…definitely me. At least, in many ways, she knew far more about me than I knew about her. But, I had every intention of remedying that situation. I was going to get her talking about herself and ask as many questions as I could get away with. I had to be careful not to be too obvious, though. I didn’t want her to ask too many questions about me. I couldn’t tell her the truth and I was determined not to lie.
I found four videos made by EDGe and looked for the one she mentioned last night, “What I’d Give” by Sugarland.
As her video began, I started to take a bite of my hot pocket but it never made it to my mouth! I don’t know how long I sat there with my mouth open, ready to take a bite…the hot pocket in my hand hovering halfway to my mouth. At some point, I put it down and closed my mouth (I think), but I don’t recall doing it. The video was captivating, the music enthralling.
It began with her avatar fading in, a title appeared, “An EdwardsDream-gurl Video,” and then it faded back out to reveal pictures of me from my last movie, “Water for Elephants,” which was still being edited and scored. There were also pictures from a photo shoot I had done to announce the filming of “Water for Elephants,” along with one from my film, “Remember Me.” It wasn’t so much the photos that captivated me, but the song…the soulful sound, the ache and desire in the sultry, almost whispered voice of the singer, the lyrics and the way she had put them all together…and then the words that EDGe had spoken to me last night resounded in my head with a haunting quality… “The words say exactly how I feel about Edward.”
What I’d Give
What I’d give to bring you flowers,
What I’d give to get you alone,
What I’d give to bring a smile across your face,
What I’d give to take you home.
Hmmm. Two sentences in and I was already in the gutter. What would she do with me if she got me alone? Just exactly how did she intend to bring a smile across my face? And what would she do if she got to take me home with her? There was an acoustic guitar, a banjo and the “brush-click” sound of a drum brush keeping time on the snare drums. The music was very “down home” country, yet the voice was seduction personified. It was a breathy whisper, seducing and pleading at the same time. It conjured images in my mind of her, EDGe, in a slinky dress, walking slowly around me as she sang, her hands trailing across my chest, over my shoulders as she circled around behind me. Her hand was drifting up into my hair as she sang this song to me. It went right through me, knowing that this is what EDGe felt for me.
What I’d give to bring you coffee,
Find out how you like your eggs,
Wrapped around you in the morning,
A tangled lace of arms and legs.
The singer’s voice had changed, becoming more soulful, more sexual, more…longing at this point. Damn, EDGe could get to me so easily. She had a knack for it. I swear sometimes it felt like she was a part of me. “A tangled lace of arms and legs…” Holy shit! She had cleverly placed a picture from WFE at this point that showed my hands on the bare back of my leading lady before fading to a still of my hand sliding up her thigh in the love scene, just at the right moment. Holy shit again. My head was full of my own imaginings of EDGe in addition to the images she had provided in the video. In my mind, EDGe replaced my co-stars on the screen. It was her thigh I had my hand on, her skin I felt beneath my fingertips.
What I’d give to let you Love me,
Find out everything that brings you joy,
Wake up to your face above me,
I’d be that girl, and you could be that boy,
Find out what that feeling is,
Ooooohhhhh, What I’d give…What I’d give…
Jesus! EDGe had perfect timing in this video, every picture fading in just at the perfect point in the song! At “What I’d give to let you love me,” she had entered a scene of me kissing my co-star in WFE. An intimate shot of the two of us in each other’s arms accompanied the next line. A photo of me from Remember Me faded in at “Wake up to your face above me,” and I was laying on top of my co-star, waking her up to tell her good-bye. Damn, EDGe was good and she knew how to get her point across, driving it home hard! All the while, she made it seem effortless and unintentional. She was smooth as silk, so subtle and unobtrusive and yet, somehow, this woman was dominating my every thought, my every moment. Even in my sleep, she was there, beckoning to me. “Ooooohhhhh, What I’d give…” I knew, at that moment, I would give anything to be able to know this woman, to meet her, talk to her face-to-face, to really know her on an intimate level.
What I’d give to take you dancing,
What I’d give to make you mine,
If you’ve got Questions I got answers,
And my answer’s yes to you every time.
I’m all yours, love! You just don’t realize it yet! Oh, I have tons of freaking questions! Dear God, this woman was getting to me. She had placed a picture exactly at the right moment to make it clear that my co-star was kissing me…she was coming on to me! Was EDGe trying to tell me something? Oh, I hoped so! Speaking of hard…damn! I shifted in my seat for a more comfortable position. Too bad she didn’t know EC was me!
What I’d give for just one minute,
What I’d give to count all the ways,
If your heart was dark with nothing in it,
I’d give you mine and take your place.
What I’d give to let you Love me,
Find out everything that brings you joy,
Wake up to your face above me,
I’d be that girl, and you could be that boy,
Find out what that feeling is,
Ohhhhh, What I’d give…What I’d give…
Oooohhh What I’d give…
It never ceased to amaze me how much and how well EDGe knew and understood me! At “Find out everything that brings you joy,” she had inserted a photo of me playing the piano from a photo shoot done in Baton Rouge!
Still, EDGe managed to surprise me even more. At this point in the song, an electric guitar jumped into the mix, making the song even more soulful and seductive. When the guitar hit its highest drawn out note, like a moan, the pictures faded in and out of several love scenes, beginning with a shot of my hand and my co-star’s hand, fingers entwined on the bed, then a stacked double shot of the two of us kissing, and beneath that, a different shot of my hand sliding up her thigh. The song, the words and music, the well-placed and perfectly timed photos, and knowing this was from EDGe to me…it all touched me, moved me and turned me on. But EDGe had not finished reaching into my heart and soul, leaving her indelible mark there.
The last shot left me speechless and feeling…changed. It was a profile shot of my face against a lovely blue background, a quote from one of my lines from WFE slowly appearing, “You Deserve a Beautiful Life.” It lingered near the photo for the final few notes and then the screen faded to black. I just sat there staring at the blank screen, my lunch and cigarettes completely forgotten. My heart was pounding in my chest. “The words say exactly how I feel about Edward…” There was a lump in my throat, making it hard for me to breathe, and my bottom lip began to quiver. Many people have said many wonderful things about me but, for some reason, that line in that song, at that moment in that video, made by this woman, touched my heart like nothing in my life ever had. My eyes began to sting. I was…I…
“You should have called us, bro. No need to eat alone,” Emmett said, as he and Jasper entered my trailer with their laptops tucked under their arms. Emmett headed straight for the fridge while Jasper went to the cabinets to fetch some glasses.
“I figured you would both be busy,” I said absentmindedly. I was still thinking about that video. “The words say exactly how I feel about Edward…” I was now damned curious to see the other three videos she had made, but I was not about to look at them with my two brothers-in-law breathing down my neck. I adored my family and always enjoyed being around my sisters’ husbands. Jasper was reliable and Emmitt was a riot. They balanced each other well and I felt comfortable having them both around all the time. But, for the first time ever, I wished they’d just go away, if only for a little while.
“Dude, I’m your bodyguard and Jasper is your personal assistant. If you don’t need us, then we have nothing to do,” Emmett reminded me, as though I had lost my mind.
I glanced over my shoulder at the both of them while closing the page to EdAttack. Emmett was looking at me as if I had said something incredibly stupid, and Jasper was watching me with an all too knowing smile on his face. He said nothing and I prayed he would continue to keep his mouth shut! The last thing I needed was for him to side with my overgrown brother-in-law and start harassing me about EDGe. It wouldn’t be the first time I was the butt of Emmett’s jokes, but I didn’t want him joking about EDGe. Not now…not ever.
“I haven’t had a chance to go to any of the fan sites today, have you?” Emmett asked. Boy, he was chatty today. He was usually the strong silent type; well, except for his booming laugh and quick one-liners. He looked at me quizzically for a moment but the call of food drew his attention away and he stuck his head back into my fridge, randomly tossing stuff out to Jasper.
“No, I was just getting ready to go there now,” I said. Jasper shrugged and turned his attention to building a sandwich.
“You go to MEoW and I’ll go to LTE,” Emmett suggested several minutes later. He carried a plate holding a massive sandwich, chips and dip in one hand, while carrying his laptop in the other. He plopped down on the sofa and took a huge bite out of his sandwich, squeezing bits and pieces out of its sides, most of which landed in his lap.
“Geez, Em! Slow down! You’re eating a sandwich, not attacking a fucking grizzly!” I snorted. Emmett just laughed, spilling even more of his sandwich.
“I’m hungry enough to eat a grizzly, that’s for damn sure,” he said, retrieving a hunk of cheese that had fallen onto his lap and stuffing it into his mouth.
I glanced over at Jasper. He still wore that cryptic smile, but said nothing. Jasper sat back on the sofa and opened his laptop. Not knowing what site he was going to look at was bugging me. Even if I made up an excuse to go to the bathroom, I still wouldn’t be able to see his monitor enough to recognize the site as I passed behind him. I decided to wait until I was alone again to look at EDGe’s other three videos. I was going to keep that little tidbit all to myself until I had seen them all.
There was nothing I could do about where Jasper chose to go on the web, so I decided to move on to MEoW. Maybe I’d have a private word with Jasper about things later. As I thought about MEoW, I suddenly remembered that, by now, they should have heard about the red horse shirt and the tug on the collar. With new excitement, I turned my attention to “my girls.” Within minutes, I had forgotten my worries about what Jazz was up to and sat laughing my ass off at these women.
Texas~Tornado: “hOOr-ay for Edward!!! Mwah, Mwah, Mwah! Oops! Hell’n that just jerked me straight outa lurkin’ mode!”
MyHubbyIsNoEdward: “Welcome Tex! You picked a good day to join the perv party BB! Edward, Baby, I got a few more requests since you are so willing to…um Fulfill all our wishes.”
Oh, heaven help me! I didn’t think anyone could keep up with these women! Now, a new one had popped up. Texas Tornado! “I’ll just bet she is,” I snickered to myself. I could only imagine her posts after a couple of weeks of hanging out with my girls. I had no proof, of course, but I had a feeling ‘Tex” was a real wildcat inside… good-natured…harmless, but a lot of fun.
Summerchic: “I wanna be FULLY FILLED by Edward!!!! Bawhahahaha.”
I had made the horrible mistake of taking a drink of my Coca-Cola© just before reading this post and now the soft drink spewed out of my nose, burning like hell, onto my table top.
Forkshere: “What she said, ^__^ Yes Please!!!!!”
Nevershy: “Well You could knock my hOOr ass over with a F*ckin feather!!! Thank YOU Edward!!! Oh! Edward and Feathers in the same sentence. Thank You Jet!!!”
Edwardscougar: OMG! That smile! If that’s not sex personified then I don’t know what is!
I couldn’t deny the fact that, despite my laughter, I was desperately searching for EDGe. Was she here? Had she been here? Did she know? Did she understand that my smile was for her? Did she post? What would she say? What would she think? I scanned down a few more lines before I heard a loud guffaw from Emmett.
“What’s so funny?” I asked. I looked over my shoulder to see Emmett stuffing his face with the last bite of his sandwich, still managing a goofy ass grin.
“You’ll just have to check out LTR, dude. It’s a freakin’ riot.” Emmett said. Jasper didn’t even raise his head when Emmett laughed. He was holding a hand over his mouth, which made it impossible for me to determine his facial expression. Still, he looked a little too innocent. What was he doing? Unable to discern what Jazz was watching, I turned my attention back to MEoW.
Rudy’smom2008: “Oh Shizz, I got so excited a while ago I forgot to tell you guise why I came in here in the first place. LOL You all have to check this out SRSLY!!!! Have any of you seen this? (link) Over on Edsession, they have announced that Scummit Entertainment has heard about all the bad reviews of the “Non-Battle Scene” in Breaking Dawn. They have come up with a phenomenal solution. They have created a contest, anyone can enter, YOU rewrite the “Non-Battle scene” the way you would like to see it on the Big Screen. Scummit is going to Film the Winner’s Rewrite in Place of the SM’s original version!!!!! No Shit BBez! GO, Go Now!!! See for yourself!!!”
“JASPER! WHAT THE FUCK? Is this true?” I whirled around to glare at him. I knew I was yelling, but I couldn’t help it. I was stunned and freaking pissed off! If there was any truth to this, no one had fucking bothered to tell me about it! This would delay production considerably! I would be confined for at least another month, maybe more, and that would run my schedules for WFE and BD so close together that I would have no time to myself! The promos were bad enough one at a time, but to extend my film shoot and then go straight into the promos and then right back into filming? Dear God! By my quick calculation, I might have a day and a half for myself, possibly two. But, if the filming of the new scene ran over a month? Shit! I wouldn’t even have a second of down time.
It was true that the non-battle scene was, in the fans’, the book critics’ and in my own humble opinion, an epic flop! A multi-million dollar, two movie, edge-of-your-seat build-up to what is basically a boring conversation where the “bad-ass” vampire “kings” of Voltera set out to destroy the good vampire clan and, when the entire Voltera clan finally descend to confront the good vampires, they pretty much just shrug and say “whatever.” Not literally, of course, but that was the general synopsis and critique of the final scene.
“Is what true, bro?” Jasper asked, removing a small ear-bud from his ear.
“This bullshit is about a non-battle scene rewrite by a fan? And we’re actually going to shoot it, too? Whose fucking brilliant idea was this, and why the fuck wasn’t I told about it?” I demanded. Jasper was my personal assistant. He scheduled all my interviews, balanced my appearances, travel arrangements, and anything else they threw at me. He was supposed to keep me in the public eye without bogging me down, or wearing me out, while still buying me as much private time as he could get. If he knew about this and hadn’t told me, we were going to have a huge problem, starting with my kicking his ass.
“What?” Jasper asked.Apparently it was news to him, too. He jumped up and came over to the table to lean over my shoulder to read the post. Emmett was right on his heels, looking pissed off. I wasn’t exactly sure what he had to be pissed about. As long as we were confined to the set, there was no one to protect me from, making his job practically non-existent.
“Edward, I swear I don’t know! I had heard a little chatter about this, but I never thought they would actually do it. I mean, an “unknown” writing the BD finale? No way! But, Bill did tell me he wanted to have a meeting with all the cast and crew at the end of today’s shoot, saying he had an announcement to make. Click on that link and see where it takes you. It could all be just a rumor.”
“It had better be a fucking rumor!” Emmett snarled over my shoulder.
“What are you so pissed about?” I asked.
“If this shit is true, it’s going to run your schedules too close together. We’re going to have WFE fans, BD fans, and Edward fans all converging on you at every appearance. It will be insane! A nightmare! We’ll have to tighten and double our security efforts. Dean and I are enough for right now, and we know we’re going to need a couple more guys when BD promos started, but this… holy hell!! When we left Baton Rouge, it looked like Woodstock. That will look like a walk in the park compared to what will happen if this is true. Remember the airport? Remember how they busted onto the set of Remember Me just to get a look at you? Don’t tell me that didn’t frazzle you, Edward! I was there. They were fuckin’ rabid. Dean, the guys and I had to get physical with them because there was so many.” Emmett replied.
“Well, a lot of that was paps and a few overzealous fans,” I said. The day the paps had busted through the barricade, trailed by a large group of screaming girls, had been one hell of a day. They broke through just after I had left my trailer to go back to the set. It was quite a distance to walk and, about a third of the way there, I was suddenly surrounded by hoards of people and cameras. Dean had finally had enough and started shoving back and screaming at them. After that, security had been tripled around me and the film set. That day was, in large part, the reason we were now confined to the set for this project.
“What? You don’t think the paparazzi are gonna swarm down on you like hungry flies on shit? After you’ve been locked up in here like the Hope Diamond? They’re going to be everywhere! Every freakin’ magazine, newspaper, TV entertainmentshow, gossip magazine and cheap tabloid in the world are gonna to be there, and not just from the States either, dude. They’ll come from everywhere. If this shit is true? Man, you are going to need an escort just to go to the freakin’ bathroom!”
I hadn’t thought about that aspect of it at all. This could turn into a huge nightmare of epic proportions! I was only thinking about all the fans being there in the thousands…screaming. I hadn’t stopped to consider how bad the paparazzi were going to be. Holy shit! I despised those bastards. I wasn’t talking about the professionals who scheduled appointments for interviews or photo shoots, or even the ones that showed up when I made public appearances. No, I was talking about those sick motherfuckers who followed celebrities around town, hounding them, screaming at them, and making their lives an unbearable living hell…the ones who screamed insults and slurs at you, doing everything humanly possible to get you to lose your temper and lash out so they could: 1) get that one picture of you in an act of violence, 2) make a fortune off said “money shot,” and 3) sue you for assault and battery, trying to make even more money off of you! I hated them more than anything. They were the ones I considered “paparazzi.” If you asked me, they were nothing short of dangerous lunatics and stalkers. I was so lost in my thoughts that I had started to click on the link, but the screen scrolled up half an inch…
“Wait! What was that?” Jasper asked, pointing at the screen.
“What was what?” I asked.
“Go back! Scroll down, scroll down!” Jasper had seen a glimpse of the next post and wanted me to go back to it. I had never seen Jasper act like this. He was still calm, by most people’s standards, and if you didn’t know him well, you would swear he was totally fine. But I knew him. Jasper was freaking out, by Jasper’s standards, that is. Between Jasper’s freak-out, and the dramatic scene Emmett had just painted for me, my stomach was starting to tie itself up in knots.
Texas~Tornado: “OMG! It’s true ya’ll! I just checked this ^__^ out and IT’S TRUE!!! Not only that but SRSLY, the Winner… gets to spend the BD premiere weekend with Edward!!!!!!!”
“WHAT. THE. FUCK??” I yelled.
“NO FUCKING WAY!” Emmett fumed.
“OH MY GOD!” Jasper declared.
Bill Condon was in deep shit! The entire cast and crew were going to go ballistic over this one! Emmett just might rip off Bill’s head and… well he was definitely in deep shit! He had volunteered me to play babysitter to God only knew who and, not only did he not tell me, he did not even bother asking me if it was OK. He did not ask my opinion. Worst of all, he had publicized it and told the entire world! It was a done deal now. There was nothing we could do about it but sit back and wait for the shit to hit the fan!
We spent the next hour pouring over the page behind the link Rudy’smom2008 had posted. We scrutinized all the details and contest rules, looking for, and not finding, any loopholes. It was all too true. Anyone not affiliated with Summit Entertainment, Breaking Dawn, the actors or the film crew, were eligible to enter and win the contest. As long as the story stayed within the realms of the original “Twilight Saga” storyline and characters, anything was acceptable. The premise was to rewrite the non-battle scene into an epic, yet filmable, battle scene. The gifts and powers of the characters were not to be enhanced, or changed, in any way. Still, this left the writer wide open because the newest cast member, a little girl by the name of Renesmee, was, according to the script, a newborn half human, half vampire, who aged rapidly and whose full powers had yet to be determined. In this particular scene, she appeared to be about 8 years old, but was actually only a few months old. With the simple touch of her tiny hand, she could make another person, or vampire, see and feel all the things she saw and felt. She could even make them see and feel the love between her mother and her father. I, of course, played her father in the film.
Once the winner had been determined, the story would be sent to Bill Condon , who would then have it rewritten into a screenplay, and then we would begin filming. Holy Mary, Mother of God! How were we ever going to pull that off? There would literally be no time for rehearsals, no time to learn new lines, and no time to take into account any special moves the author decides to bestow upon us!
With this new “Contest,” my schedule would go something like this. Once the scene was shot, the editing would begin. While that was going on, I would be doing promo tours for WFE. When that was done several weeks later, after a whirlwind, world-wide trip, and multiple appearances, I was expected to return to the Summit studio to record the lull-a-bye for Renesmee in the BD film and, within days, begin the BD promo tour.
Now, here is where Bill had really screwed me over. This freakin’ brilliant idea of his would have me spending nearly every public moment of the first promo weekend with the winner and talking about the new scene. What the fuck? The new scene wouldn’t even be shown until next year! It looked like I was going to be the one to single handedly pimp this person out to the public, and to Hollywood, in general. “Thanks, Bill!” I thought sarcastically.
“This is bullshit!” Emmett yelled. “I’m going to go talk to Bill and let him know what a shithole he just dug for all of us.”
“It won’t do any good, Em. It’s hit the public now. He can’t undo it. Even if he tried, it would only hurt us and the film now and we’ve worked too hard to let that happen. We are all just going to have to deal with it,” I told him. He looked at me like I was nuts. “Don’t look at me like that. You know it’s true. No matter what you say to him, he’ll promise you whatever it takes to shut you up. And don’t forget; he couldn’t have done this unless he had the studio’s approval. They stand 100% behind him.”
“He’s right, Em. Just start gettin’ ahold of your best men for now and make sure they’ll be available in a few months. We’ll all talk to Bill after the shoot tonight when he makes this announcement,” Jasper said. Always the epitome of calm, he seemed to take in all the details in stride. I knew that inside, his mind was probably racing already…making plans and arrangements, deciding who to call, and making up schedules. Me? I was chewing on my thumb and chain smoking, wondering what Bill had gotten me into. Emmett and Jasper gathered their things and we all headed out to return to the set. Jasper was at the bottom of the stairs and I was still inside the trailer. Emmett was in between, when he suddenly stopped.
“You know, Edward, with all this contest business, I forgot to ask you something,” he said, turning to look up at me.
“What’s that Em?” I asked.
“Just how do you like your eggs?” he snickered.
“JASPER!!! I’m going to kill you!!!” I yelled, as I lunged for him. Jazz was already running away and Emmett was left standing on the steps, laughing his ass off.
A/N:I Have to send out a special thank you to my one woman fan club and voluntary PR agent Cared for single handedly pimping out my little fic to everyone.
Thanks to georgialion for posting a rec for WIT on their story, “Pure Revelations” http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6699731/1/Pure_Revelations if you haven’t read this yet, GO! Go now! It’s like a cat, it purrs in chapter one, rubs against you in chapter two and sinks it’s claws into you by chapter three!!!
Thanks as always to my Dear friend Rita01tx for hours and hours of chats and advice and her mad editing skills. We are cooking up some really good stuff for all you guys in the near and also in the not so very distant future!! I just wanted to say Thank You all for reading my first little fic here and as always I hope you truly enjoy it and that you will please leave a comment!!