Chapter 10


Chapter 10


EC: Can we talk about the Just F*cked hair now? The wonky legs *Oh BABY* and Just exactly what does *gutternutter* mean? Hey, I’m Just Curious!

EDG: LMAO NO! and *Blushing* SHUT UP!

I was weightless with relief that she hadn’t shut me out. Now, I just had to keep her talking until she realized nothing had to change. Just because she knew I was a man now, that shouldn’t be a reason for her to stop being herself.

EC: Why not? I don’t mind you talking about your Edward. They always say men don’t understand women so, from my point of view, this is a golden opportunity. If you are willing to talk to me it would maybe give me a chance to understand not only the OCD but women as well. There’s no need to be shy about it now especially after your *ahem* list.

I wondered what she thought of me calling myself “her Edward?” It was the only way I could refer to the Edward she knew and talked about without revealing my true identity. I guess it could still be construed as lying, but there was no way I could keep this up without referring to myself in the third person. I had no choice, really. I wanted …no, I needed to keep talking to her. The thought of never being able to do this with her again – well, it just wasn’t an option.

EDG: Yeah right! That’s easy for you to say! You didn’t write the list!

She had a point. Maybe if I kept joking about the whole thing – kept her laughing – she would stop being so embarrassed about everything she had been saying to me.

EC: Okay, if you are still willing to talk about it/him/stuff with me then let’s start with something easy. Like “Gutter~Nutter,” WTF does that mean???? We’ll build up to the *snicker* just F*ucked hair okay?

EDG: LMAO, *blushing* you think this is funny don’t ya? Starting there doesn’t help any because “Gutter~Nutter” is a term created by a dear friend of mine that means (and I quote) “new term for a Cullen h00r /Angel with her mind always stuck in the gutter.” Did you have to start with that one?

Oh, my God! If that’s what Gutter~Nutter meant, I couldn’t wait to hear what some of these other strange slang words and acronyms meant.

EC: LMAO!! What a hoot! No, I don’t think it’s funny at all, I think it’s freakin Hilarious! Okay, let’s try for a safer topic then, why do you like the smile. It’s just a smile!

Surely, she couldn’t be embarrassed about describing her Edward’s smile to another man.

EDG: To answer your Question, Saying Edward’s smile is “just a smile” is like saying the Mona Lisa is just a painting! NOT! He has the sexiest smile on the planet, not to mention contagious. I couldn’t tell you how many times I have felt down or sad or just not felt good and one look at that smiling face and I am grinning like an idiot. Now THAT is a work of art!

Holy shit! That left me stunned. I was so completely flattered that I could feel the blush creeping into my cheeks. She had no idea she was speaking directly to me, and the fact that she was embarrassed by this entire situation only proved that these were her true feelings about me. That left me speechless. How was I supposed to respond to that? Now, I wanted to know more. I wanted to know everything. It wasn’t just about the funny new words she/they had come up with anymore; I wanted to go through every item on the list and discover how she felt about everything. I also wanted to know what made her feel sad. I was glad she found comfort in my smile; that she found her smile in mine. Wow, that was nothing short of humbling.

EC: Wow! I’m sure he would be deeply flattered to hear something like that said about him. I know enough to know that he doesn’t understand all the fuss that is made over him. I’m sure that knowing you speak from the heart, your Edward would be so touched he wouldn’t know how to truly respond to something like that. You mentioned his hands, tell me why?

There, that should be a safe enough topic and I had told her my true feelings; I just did it in the third person. That was being honest, right? I hoped so. I was trying very hard to keep my identity hidden for safety reasons, among others, but in case the truth ever did come out, I didn’t want her to hate me or think of me as a liar.

EDG: Edward Cullen is far too important and has far too many beautiful young women to pick from to worry about what I think or feel. But I do thank you for saying that. It does sound like something Edward would say. He seems like such a humble and caring man. He never says anything negative about anyone. Such a Sweet heart he is!

Oh Geeze! You’re killing me here Curious!! Knowing you are a man (now) I will answer you in part, the rest – you will just have to let your imagination run rampant cause there ain’t no way imma explaining in detail the rest of the reasons I/we find his hands sexy as hell!!! He has very long, elegant fingers. Large hands and all that implies…*ahem*…but basically for me, it’s watching him play the piano, there is something sexy and beautiful about it.

Oh, but Baby, I do care what you think and how you feel. Far more than I should and more than I care to admit! I shouldn’t, but I do. I just wish I knew why. “What have you done to me, EDGe?” I muttered under my breath.

Holy shit! Now my mind was deep in the gutter. Here I thought men had dirty minds! Women were just as bad, if not worse; they just hid it well and covered it with funny words. They were so very clever. Oh, Baby, my mind was running rampant all right. We were back to playing the piano again. The two topics combined had my imagination burning a hole in my brain.

EC: You don’t want to leave things to MY imagination, lol that could lead to a male version of a Gutter~Nutter!!

Well, she had put me in the gutter; she might as well know it.

EDG: That sounds “Naughty” *snicker* Well, at least then we would be in the same position, somewhat. Do you want to become a professional musician? I was just wondering, since you seem to have that in common with Edward and you seem to know so much about him.

“Oh, I can be ‘naughty’ if you want to go there love,” I thought. Did she have to say position? Damn! She says naughty and position in the same sentence and then tries to change the subject on me? I don’t think so! I’d answer her questions and ask mine at the same time.

EC: Naughty, (?) that can be arranged *snicker* Yes, someday, I’d love to be able to indulge in nothing else but my music but for now, my job keeps me traveling. Sometimes I travel very frequently and other times I stay in one place for months at a time. I’m usually the last to know with 100% certainty when and where I will be going therefore it makes creating a career in music very difficult. Can we talk about the wonky legs * Oh BABY * now? *snicker~snort*

EDG: Sounds hectic. What on earth kinda job has you on such a crazy schedule, if you don’t mind my asking?

Dude, have you seen some of the pics of Edward’s legs? C’mon! The possibilities are endless!!!! Oh Baby!! LMAO *Blushing* Oh that was BAD! *Smacking the backs of my hands* “Bad baby, bad baby!” LOL. Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that I just couldn’t resist. Imma natural born smart-ass!

Sneaky woman! She chose to ignore my naughty comment. That was both funny and a good thing. Funny because she now knew I was a man and didn’t want to go there with someone she didn’t know. That spoke volumes about her character! “You just told on yourself, sweetheart,” I said. And it was a very good thing that she had that kind of character. I now knew that she wasn’t the kind to talk that way and that what she said about her Edward was what she felt for him and not just about men in general. If there was one thing I had learned on the internet it was that some women on these blogs talked about all kinds of male celebrities “like that.”

I had really stuck my foot in it now, though! How was I going to get out of telling her about my/EC’s line of work without revealing my identity? Beneath her post she had included a picture of me getting out of a car at some appearance somewhere. One foot was pointing straight ahead and the other, Lord have Mercy, was turned inward at a very odd angle. No wonder she thought I had wonky legs!

Wonky Legs

Oh, Bloody Hell!!! How did she get her hands on that picture? Talk about being embarrassed. I looked like a freakin’ contortionist in that picture.

Oh, Baby! You can be “bad” all you want to with me! Man, she kept my mind in the gutter all the time now and, damn it, I liked it!

EC: You can be “Bad” all you want to Love, I don’t mind a bit! I actually enjoy hearing you talk about your Edward and knowing that you enjoy it so much.

Ah, “wonky legs” I see… Now I understand what you meant by Oh BABY! LMAO! *I’m nose diving into the gutter with “naughty” thoughts running through my mind* “well Hello EDGe, what’s a nice girl like you doing in the gutter? With me?”

Hmmm, the job. You know that old joke, “I’d tell you but then I’d have to kill you?” LOL Well, it’s not that bad but srsly, I’m kind of bound by secrecy and anyway, it’s pretty stressful at times and my time here, ~being with you~ it’s my chance to forget it all and relax, to steal a line from you…”As for my  job,… that’s a long story, another night, another time perhaps?” *snicker* oh and BTW, I LOVE natural born smart asses! LOL

“Oh, be bad, please be bad!” I said to my monitor, unable to stop the giggle that escaped me. I couldn’t wait to hear her reply to that one.

Well, what I’d said about my “job” was true enough. We were all confined to the Breaking Dawn set in an attempt to prevent any leak whatsoever from getting to the press, either by photos or word of mouth. She had no idea what I’d had to go through with Bill just to be able to keep laptops for my sisters, their husbands and myself.

EDG: Well, it seems when it comes to Edward, my mind just tends to trip and fall *Splat!* right into the Edgutter! LOL But in all honesty, though I joke a lot and even though I, admittedly think he is Sofa King Hawt, I admire him quite a bit. I think he’s funny and extremely kind and patient and…Oh Geeze! Don’t get me started again!

“Bound by secrecy?” Ho-lee Shizz BB! OK, I won’t pry, but imma hold you to that ya know? Just don’t land me in hot water like Whoopie Goldberg in “Jumping Jack Flash.” Cause I don’t have a cast iron skillet OK?

Now I felt like a complete dick! Here I was trying to drag her deeper into the gutter and she goes and drags me out of it by saying something wonderful about me. As an actor, I didn’t deserve “fans” this loyal and, as a man, I didn’t deserve a woman this kind and devoted.

Oh God! She was priceless! She thought I was a spy or something! The Musical British Spy! I was laughing so hard it hurt! I felt wonderful whenever I was around anything that had to do with EDGe, but talking to her was the absolute freaking best thing ever!

EC: ROTFLMAO!! OMG – it’s nothing like that I promise!  You are hilarious – and that was a srsly funny movie! *picking myself up off the floor* We can revisit this topic another time. And you can hold me *ahem* to whatever, anytime you want. LOL, I’m onto you *wink*! Subject change? Please? You were so descriptive in your love for your Edward’s music. (Very HAWT BTW) What other music do you listen to, besides your Edward’s, that is?

EDG: Hmmm, pretty much everything from blues to gospel, jazz to classic rock – you name it. “Claire de Lune” is a favorite classic. I even like some country stuff *ducks head*  I know but, srsly – have you heard “What I’d Give” by Sugarland?  Wow! The words say exactly how I feel about Edward.  I made a video with that song the other day – just haven’t posted it yet.  What about you?  What do you like?

The more we talked, the more it seemed like we had just about everything in common. She must enjoy talking to me/EC as well or she would have signed off by now, right? I hadn’t had the chance to see any of her videos yet but, if I got the chance to come back to my trailer sometime today, I was going to watch however many she had done. Oh! She left me an opening and I was going to take it.

EC: Aw! Please post your new vid soon – I’m ‘curious’ now LOL.  I like YOU for starters, a lot! J But, like you, my taste is pretty eclectic, and “Claire de Lune” is one of my favorites, too! The last song that ‘spoke’ to me was “Talking to the Moon” by Bruno Mars.  I happened to be looking at the moon when I heard it and it was just so apropos of my mood at the time.

EDG: Always curious LOL. OK, I’ll post it sometime err later today. I like you too EC, you make me laugh. I know that song! So, is there “someone out there, somewhere far away” for you? Back in London, maybe? Gah! Sorry, too personal – forget I asked. None of my bidness.

EC: Great! Send me a PM here so I’ll know where to see it? Please? No, it’s not too personal, nothing is to you. It’s OK that you asked. And no – well, yes, kinda. Definitely faraway – but not in London.

EDG: Aww, poor Darlin’ – sounds confusing, you wanna talk about it?  Imma good listener, really.

Oh, it’s confusing all right. Nothing has ever felt more right than being here with you EDGe and yet, at the same time, this all just seems so crazy!

EC: Thanks – you’re so sweet! Later, maybe. Let’s just say someone has recently captured my full attention. I’m still trying to get things straight in my head.  In the meantime, there IS something I’ve been dying to ask you about. If I may…

EDG: LMAO! After everything we been talking about, you even have to ask? Bring it BB!

Well, here goes nothing and everything. I took a deep breath and typed the words as fast as I could and pushed send before I had the chance to talk myself out of it

EC: “Midnight Rendezvous” – what inspired you to write that poem?

There I’d asked. I lit a cigarette, exhaled and waited, chewed my thumb and silently prayed, “Please, don’t say it…don’t say it.” It’ll be too freaking weird. If she had just made up the poem, I could pass the whole thing off as just a precognitive dream of mine that she would coincidently write as that poem. As “far out” as that sounded, it was a damn sight better than “Mutual Dreaming”. I didn’t know what to do with that information, or WTF it meant.

EDG: “Midnight Rendezvous?” Really? That’s what you’re dying to know about? LOL OK, it’s from a dream I had one night.  When I woke up, I immediately wrote it all down before I could forget.  Only, the funny thing is, I still keep having the same dream. Why are you “dying” to know?

Fuck! I was afraid she was going to say that! Now what the hell did it mean? Why were we both having the same dream? What were we going to do about it? Was there anything we could do about it? I was going to have to get Alice or Jasper, or somebody, to do more in depth research about mutual dreaming.

EC: Well, along with your other poems and all the other beautiful things you’ve written and posted on your blog, you and this poem are what keep me coming back here, even more than my curiosity about women’s Edsession.

Oh man, maybe I shouldn’t have brought it up yet? Maybe this was too soon.

EDG: *blushing* Thank you for those kind words – again! Really? But now I’m confused. Why “Midnight Rendezvous” in particular?

Shit! Shit, fuck and damn! Now what did I say? I had to tell her the truth.

 EC: OK *deep breath*, just don’t freak out, OK? Please? Becaussssse … I had that same dream BEFORE I ever saw your poem and it totally blew my mind!! I’m already freaked out about it enough for both of us!

I flinched when I hit the send button and sat with bated breath while I waited for her reply. She would either freak out as I had done, or worse, she would think I was a total freaking wacko and just sign off and never speak to me again. Between the two choices, I’d rather she freaked out.

As I waited, Jasper entered my trailer. Holy shit, was it morning already? Damn, I was already late! Somehow, Jasper managed to have both a smile and a disapproving look on his face at the same time. Shit! I couldn’t just tell her something like that and then leave. Hell, I couldn’t leave till I saw her reply.

EDG: WTF?????? HUH? How…wha… !?!?!?!? *eyebrows raised, mouth dropped to the floor*

EC: You’re freaking out! Damn, damn, damn I knew you would and I want to explain, really I do – but Shit, we’ve been up all night and I have to go to work, NOW! Can we talk again later? PLEASE?????? Promise me?

EDG: You’re damn skippy I’m freaking out!!! And Uh, YES! You can bet your sweet bippy we will!! You can’t just drop a bomb like that on me and then leave me hanging, so get your butt back here asap, OK?

EC: *grinning* Yes ma’m!  Get some sleep please? Laters BB!

She always managed to make me giggle somehow, even when she was freaked out. Bippy? WTF was a bippy?

EDG: “Laters BB???”  *Grins*  Laters indeed!



Oh, my God! ExtremelyCurious was a man!? Jesus! I was so embarrassed. I guess I could understand his point of view, though. Being curious about why so many people would find Edward so appealing – was it just his looks, his acting skills, just an infatuation with all the vampires that were so popular in today’s culture, or his musical talent? Especially if you were a struggling musician with the same talents, it was completely understandable.  What was it that made Edward so popular, but left ExtremelyCurious still struggling as a musician? (Always assuming, of course, that EC could even sing.) If I were in his shoes, I guess I would wonder about the source of Edward’s fame, too. And yes, I could also understand how he wouldn’t want to admit his curiosity about Edward in a public forum. I suppose, if it had been me, I would have looked for a small site to ask questions on, too.

Dear Lord, he was fun and funny! What to do, what to do? Gah! I couldn’t continue talking to a straight guy about my fascination, attraction and obsession with Edward Cullen, could I?

I still couldn’t believe I had somehow gotten myself into a conversation about my attraction to Edward with another man!  I thought about it for a while but, looking back on our conversations, I realized he had never said anything that would imply he was or wasn’t a woman. The mistake had been mine alone. I guess that old saying about assuming things was true

We had been up all night talking and I still wasn’t able to fully process the fact he was a man. Now, there was so much more to juggle in my mind and try to get straight in my head, including that last little bomb he’d dropped in my lap.

It sounded like he had an important job. But, what kind of job had such a ridiculous schedule? Damn, what could it be?  Hmmm, undercover cop, private investigator, super spy? “Bound by secrecy…” Aaargh! Go all over mysterious with me, will he. I think not! I would definitely be revisiting this subject.

And I know I wasn’t just imagining that he had been flirting with me. “Naughty (?) That can be arranged,” “You can be “Bad” all you want to Love, I don’t mind a bit!”, and “well Hello EDGe, what’s a nice girl like you doing in the gutter? With me?” No, he had definitely been flirting. So, if there was someone in his life, why was he flirting with me? Maybe he was just being playful. He did tease me a lot about the things I said about Edward. Sure, that’s what it was. He was teasing me…trying to embarrass me even more. I wondered if the lower case e on EDGe was a typo, or if was it intentional? I would have to remember to ask him about that.

At least he had stopped asking me about Edward for a while, but then he’d left me with that shocker about having the same “Midnight Rendezvous” dream as I’d had. How was that even possible? It couldn’t be. I knew one thing for sure…as soon as I posted my Sugarland video, I was going to Google search whether it was possible for two people to have the same dream. And then I was going to bed.

I jumped over to my video page and uploaded the Sugarland video and posted it. Before I could close my website, my e-mail alert sounded. I closed the page and opened my mail, noting that it was a new post from MEoW. I clicked on the link with every intention of posting a quick Hello and hitting the, “notify me of future comments on this post” button so I wouldn’t miss anything, and then I was definitely going to go to bed. But when the page opened, I went into shock…

It’s official!!! Edward Freakin Cullen Reads MEoW!!!!!

He did it! He DID IT!! He REALLY, REALLY DID IT!! A few days ago I posted a wardrobe request for Edward. See that here. Some of you ladies even asked him to give us a sign so we would know for sure that he had seen the request and asked him to tug at the collar of his shirt. On Friday, Edward left BR and arrived in VC and THIS, ladies, is proof positive that Edward Reads our Blog!!! **Jumping up and down waving* “Hey Edward!”


It’s the red hOOrs shirt! I mean Horse shirt *snicker*

Above this caption was a picture of Edward wearing the red horse shirt that Jet had requested. He was wearing a White dress shirt over that and an MTV Jacket that had red sleeves a black collar and black cuffs. He was also wearing the ever famous Ray-Ban sunglasses.

DAY-UM!!! Err Da~YUUUMMM!!!!


 Above this caption was a picture of Edward taken the same day, apparently trying not to make eye contact with the press, the sunglasses were still on and he was looking down.


Humina!!! Humina!!! Humina!!!

Above this was yet another picture of Edward only this time he had removed the sunglasses, looked directly in the camera and smiled kind of a knowing smile.

You RAWK that Beanie, RayBans and scruff Baby!

This picture must have been taken earlier in the day because he was not wearing the white shirt and he appeared to be much happier and more carefree.

OMG That Smile is for US!! *Breathe~Breathe* SQUEEEEE


One more picture of Edward appeared above this caption that seemed so very deliberate. It was the smile that spoke volumes. It was as though he were confirming our requests and saying hello all in just one look. It seemed as though he knew the moment we saw these pictures there would be squueeeees heard for hours. That smile seemed to say he could hear those squeees already.

The TUG! *I AM D-I-E-D*FLAT LINED________________


This last Picture was the end all and beat all! It seemed to be proof positive that Edward Cullen not only read Meow but that he had seen our requests and was in fact full filling out ward robe request. But not only that, in this picture he was tugging on his collar just as we, just as I had asked him to! I was stunned and in awe of this kind and wonderful man.

So ladies Is this proof enuff for you? What do you want to say to Edward Today?

I just sat there staring at those eyes, that smiling face, wearing that shirt, that jacket, smiling at me! For me and all the girls at MEoW! OH~ MYGOD! This couldn’t possibly be coincidence, could it? No, no way, not with that shirt and the tug at the collar, not looking directly in the camera while doing both, not that specific. He must have read MEoW! Oh Lord! My insides were bouncing up and down for joy and the smile on my face was enormous.

Chatterbox: “OMG OMG OMG I can’t believe he did it!! *Blowing Kisses* Hey Eddie, how you doin BB? He loves us! He truly loves us!! Lol”

Crazyforcullen: “NFW! For realz? Edward! We Lurve you hot stuff!”

Rudysmom2008: “You guise you guise have you seen this,…WHOA!! What? WTF??? Edward does Read MEOW?? Holy Mary Mother of GOD!!!”

I couldn’t believe it was all true! He really did read this blog. I wondered how long he had been reading it. I wondered if he had ever read any of my comments. I wondered what he thought of the entire thing. And I wondered if he was insulted by some of the more raunchy comments, or if he found them funny. I had so many thoughts flying through my mind, it was like a car racing at top speed with no brakes.

“Edwardscougar: Yeah well, we got him into the red horse shirt, hee hee hee, now I wanna get him out of it! Bwahahaha. How’s about it Edward?”

DazzlemeEC: *Picking my jaw up off the floor!* Oh Edward BB! I knew you Loved us! We Love you too!! Now, just get yourself back here and post so we/you can confirm it beyond a shadow of a doubt!!!

Definitely! I would love to see “Edward” post now. Just to confirm that he was Edward. But then, if it was a fake Edward, all he’d have to do is read the blog and say, “Yeah, it was me.” Was there ever any way to truly confirm that Edward did this on purpose because we had asked him to? Probably not. My mind was racing wildly, and I still couldn’t find the brakes.

FlightlessVamp: “There IS a GOD!”

Summerchic: *THUD*

Forkshere: “WTF???? It’s TRUE? It’s all true? Ho-LEE SHIT!!!!”

JET: “Edward, Please know that you are welcome to come here and post whenever you wish, and Please rest assured I will NOT divulge any of your information to ANYONE for any price.”

Texas~Tornado: “hOOr-ay for Edward!!! Mwah, Mwah, Mwah!  Oops! Hell’n that just jerked me straight outa lurkin’ mode!”

MyHubbyIsNoEdward: “Welcome Tex! You picked a good day to join the perv party BB! Edward,  Baby, I got a few more requests since you are so willing to…um Fulfill all our wishes.”

Nevershy: “Well You could knock my hOOr ass over with a F*ckin feather!!! Thank YOU Edward!!!  Oh! Edward and Feathers in the same sentence. Thank You Jet!!!”

KAT: “DED hOOr down!!!”

Summerchic: “I wanna be FULLY FILLED by Edward!!!! Bawhahahaha.”

Forkshere: “What she said, ^__^ Yes Please!!!!!”

Rudy’smom2008: “Oh Shizz, I got so excited a while ago I forgot to tell you guise why I came in here in the first place. LOL You all have to check this out SRSLY!!!! Have any of you seen this? (link) Over on Edsession, they have announced that Scummit Entertainment has heard about all the bad reviews of the “Non-Battle Scene” in Breaking Dawn. They have come up with a phenomenal solution. They have created a contest, anyone can enter, YOU rewrite the “Non Battle scene” the way you would like to see it on the Big Screen. Scummit is going to Film the Winner’s Rewrite in Place of the SM’s original version!!!!! No Shit BBez! GO, Go Now!!! See for yourself!!!”

Texas~Tornado: “OMG! It’s true ya’ll! I just checked this ^__^ out and IT’S TRUE!!! Not only that but SRSLY, the Winner… gets to spend the BD premiere weekend with Edward!!!!!!!”

Holy shit! My mind just found the brakes and came to a screeching halt!


I Have to give a HUGE~ MASSIVE~MEGA THANK YOU TO THE ENFORCER for creating ALL of the MTV Jacket photos in this post!!! You and Your Mad Photoshop SKILLZ  Rawk Darlin’!!! I’d also like to send out yet Another Huge Thank You To Rita01tx For digging me out of the corner I wrote myself into!! Thank You! I’d be lost without you Girlfriend!!

My Apologies: I would Really like to apologize for the lateness  of Chapter 10! Both of my parents are Elderly (65 mom and 76 step father) and both of them are seriously ill. They both took a turn for the worse at the same time. My Step father had two heart atttacks in one week and they found he has water built up around his heart. He also has diabetes and Alzheimers disease.
Just keeping track of him and keeping him from wondering off or doing dangerous things is a full time Job. My Mom has many many things wrong with her the latest of these happened a couple weeks ago, we were told she has a brain Tumor. She needs at least three other operations on top of whatever they decide to do about the brain tumor. so where as a month or so ago I had nothing but time, i now have anything BUT time. They Both need full time care and live with me. I will not give up on my stories or leave you all hanging for too long on them. I just
wanted to say I do apologize for this chapter being so late in being posted. Things are on a more normal schedule now and I am here to stay!